Well Damn: The Aftermath of That Crazy Presidential Debate

presidential debate

As you’ve surely heard by now, last night’s presidential debates were not a good look.

From constant interruptions to accusations of coked-up family members, it all happened, and it was all bad. And not bad meaning good — bad like somebody’s grandmother should tell America to go outside, pick a switch and bring it back in the house so she can whoop our countrywide ass.

We could go on and on, but we’d rather just put this all in context for you. So here are five snackable bullet points that will likely leave a disgusting taste in your mouth. Don’t worry; we’ve got a palate cleanser for you at the end.

1. Twitter was active

This is making me ageist

— quinta brunson (@quintabrunson) September 30, 2020

is this what white thanksgiving is like

— Rembert Browne (@rembert) September 30, 2020

Hey quick question does anyone living in an incredibly boring country want to marry me

— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) September 30, 2020

So everyone saw Trump refuse to denounce white supremacy on live television, right?

— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) September 30, 2020

2. The foreign press is flaming us

3. Trump’s wig got twisted

Trump supposedly spent $70,000 on his hair and his tracks showing. The ghetto. https://t.co/E9G515orjm

— Jemele Hill (@jemelehill) September 30, 2020

4. The debate commission is changing the rules to keep this from happening again

5. Everybody’s moving to Canada, especially folks in Massachussetts

That’s a lot of dumpster fire, is it not? But we did promise a palate cleanser to make sure you don’t finish the day in a doom-centric state of mind. There’s good news out there: The NBA Finals start tonight! A McDonald’s employee paid for someone’s food because they forgot their wallet, and in return got $27,000 for being a dope human being! Lil Yachty is not only out of jail, but he’s giving back by telling the kids not to drive 150 MPH on the interstate! Everything is awesome.

And the best news of all — you still have the power to do something about what happens in the U.S. government, and in your neighborhood. You can vote. You can even vote early in most places! So yeah, get registered, double-check that you’re registered, and VOTE EARLY. Like now.

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